The Gift I Have

A friend once gave me one variety of a tree some 5 years ago (or maybe 7, I forgot). It was still a plant when it was given. I remembered I was still in my college years those times. It was something I never gave much attention to or taken cared much as I was an ideal but typical student, concerned of getting a higher mark to maintain my academic privilege. Years gone by and I hardly noticed that the plant turned into a tree and was growing healthier and bigger, even without me taking care of it. Nature really has its way of everything. I was amazed. Soon I tried nursing it by my own hands. It did grew well.

This tree is an inspiration. It gives me joy. Everyday I look forward to seeing it, wanting to see that it is healthy and fine. The anticipation is a vitamin that energizes me. That beyond these anxieties and troubles I have, I still have this wonderful gift making me feel I have conquered my fears and the world.

Nature has its give and take cycles, I know. Yet, this, the gift that was given to me even if cannot speak the language I am speaking, just the presence of it is a joy for me. They have said I must give back to Nature the nursing so I can take care of other things too because Nature brings back everything to dust. And they knew that this will bring me to grief. And yes, I am trying to let go of the nursing; bringing it back to Nature slowly.

I know that soon I can finally let Nature take care of it in full. The tree will have to meet day and night but all in accordance to Nature. It will grow bigger and sturdy but it will also have to return to the earth's crust. It may not be soon. But the Acacia Tree will, eventually.

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HOME

by: Chris Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night
Trying to hide the pain
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain

I'm going home
Back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me

I'm not running from
No, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me

But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home
Well I'm going home

The miles are getting longer, it seems
The closer I get to you
I've not always been the best man or friend for you
But your love remains true
And I don't know why
You always seem to give me another try

So I'm going home
Back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me

I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old

Be careful what you wish for
'Cause you just might get it all
You just might get it all
And then some you don't want

Be careful what you wish for
'Cause you just might get it all
You just might get it all, yeah

Oh, well I'm going home
Back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me

I'm not running from
No, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old

I said, these places and these faces are getting old
So, I'm going home

I'm going home

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The Instance

Because we are too concerned of great things, we fail to see little details of God’s works.

There are times when we feel that life has been so unfair, bombarding us with immeasurable obstacles but less of its breath. Unfair isn’t it? Yet we do not have other choice but to struggle; struggle until we finally breathe a little air and then struggle again, to keep living. Maybe that’s what life is all about.

We are like passengers of a drowning ship. We jump off the ship thinking that it will be safe in the waters and found out we do not know how to swim. We are drowning, but we struggled to flap until we reach the surface, reach for something that will pull us up and finally breathe. Lucky if we found something to hold us, blessed if we unconsciously lay and woke up safe in an island where the waves brought us. And we woke up thanking God for grasping us in the midst of falling. God’s mystery is at work. But if life is not for us, we are taken away with the darkness.

We want things to happen the way we expect them. When it did not work they caused us emotional turbulence and made us suffer. We are unreasonably hurting. For some, time may be enough to heal the cut. For some, it takes other people to come to their lives; open a window to the other realm and welcome them to their world.

Time heals all wound, they say. Yes. For others who believe that all will heal in time, they hibernate and let time erase the pain. The memories will still be there but no more emotions attached, for which is good. For some, both may banish. For some, either. For some, neither.

Then instance in our lives helped us in the healing, caused the change, or changes. It could be a situation, a place, a thing, or a person. The joy may not be lasting but in the end we realized that the instance significantly brought us joy and secluded us from the constant anxieties and fears, from pain. Indeed, we felt we have triumphed over them.

We then realized that these simple instances are proofs that God is still with us. That in simple matters God never abandoned us.

We then realized, “Yes, maybe God gave me that instance to bring me back to life.” And we thank Him for lighting the path again.

I may not have the chance to thank the many instances that came in my life but I am surely grateful for their presence. Thanks too for my friend who made me realized that God gave me the instance to bring me back to where I was.

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Why Am I So Distracted?

And the deliberation started and ended tonight...

I thought after confessions of truth everything will just pass as if nothing happened. "Why am i so distracted?", I asked myself while playing a game in my phone. I got up and opened my pc and started talking to myself.

Sleeping beside the person I hardly knew at all is despicable. Is it too harsh? Okay I say, uncomfortable. Why such feeling? Is it jealousy or is it just a mere feeling of being betrayed by someone close to you? I was feeling fine after all the laughters and serious talk lately but when everybody else left, I felt everything was serious and I did not know how to place myself in the situation. More with the people around me who are mostly concerned. I was stuck. Words were trapped in my mind and they could not escape my mouth. How will I bring back again those times when everything was just normal. Yet I could not. And now I do not know how my loved ones took hold of the situation. I know they were just trying to hide the pain and frustrations. I can feel their anguish and dismay. I wish I could comfort them but I found no betters words or actions to make them feel better...

But then... it was still not the end. Everything was just a beginning.

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There's No Place Like Home

I was always searching for a place to rest. I traveled and meet many faces. I found one. I thought this is the place I was searching for so long but I was wrong. I haven’t found happiness and contentment. The place I once wanted but ignored seeped into my memories again. I felt a little bliss then sadness. Bliss because now I found what I have been searching. Sad, because I already abandoned the place.

Realizations do come at the end and now I am afraid I won’t be able to take back the place I used to own. Is someone already residing in that place? I regret to have ignored what I could have called my home.

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