The Other

I stayed on bed for an hour trying to shut my body from that unplanned night. I failed. I stood up and finished reading the book I recently bought. I still can't sleep. What's wrong with me. Oops, I must have overslept that afternoon I remembered. I would love to believe that everything was just fine. It was actually, but my brain oftentimes wanted to speak to me. My heart isn't just ready for the confrontation. So now I know why. My body can't rest because these two are battling over me.

I observed the woman I had been up until then: weak but trying to give the impression of strength. Fearful of everything but telling herself it wasn't fear - it was the wisdom of someone who knew what reality was. Putting up shutters in front of windows to keep the joy of the sun from entering - just so the sun's rays wouldn't fade my old furniture.

The gods throw the dice, and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not. They don't care if when you go, you leave behind a lover, a home, a career, or a dream. The gods don't care whether you have it all, whether it seems that your every desire can be met through hard work and persistence. The gods don't want to know about your plans and your hopes. Somewhere they're throwing the dice - and you are chosen. From then on, winning or losing is only a question of luck.

'I am just like everyone else who listens to their heart: a person who is enchanted by the mystery of life. Who is open to miracles, who experiences joy and enthusiasm for what they do. It's just that the Other, afraid of disappointment, kept me from taking action... But there is suffering... And there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggle for your dreams than to be defeated without ever even knowing what you're fighting for.'