My heart is BLUE

I needed to take a break for now. My heart is almost in the situation of getting hurt with no apparent reason. Well, I knew the reason but the reason itself is unreasonable. Whew! Unreasonable because she was not even taken a glance yet she acted like she was already owned by someone. I must back off a bit to avoid being emotionally exhausted. No thing has started yet but my heart is almost falling in the dark. I must not let it happen so for now until next week, I told her to rest. I reminisce some events and talks with him but with caution, not letting my heart sink to it as to guard her from the pain it might cause her in the future. Pain with no assurance that she will be loved and taken cared of by the man she likes, or even small attention from him for that matter. He left her unnoticed and hurting.

I must go back to who I was and when my heart is ready to face him, I will come out strong in the open. When that time comes, I wish I am ready to disclose my heart to someone who'll fetch her on the ground.
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My Fill-Ins

This tag was passed on to me by Vinkoy, tenchu

Players : Beb YOUR BLOG WHERE YOU POST THIS TAG

My roommate and I once: slept together. vinx gisundog nko imo answer. pero dili ta roommate ha. clarify lang hehehe

Never in my life have I: ehem... eaten a plate hehe

High school was: memorable. I had great friends

When I’m nervous: I talk fast. Sometimes I stutter.

My hair: is straight. :D

When I was 5: I can't remember any

When I turn my head left: I faced left.

I should be: finding my match this year tsk tsk

By this time next year: I will move out this dungeon

My favorite aunt is: Auntie Bren? asus..

I have a hard time understanding: Nihongo

You know I like you if: I don't talk to you. ngek

My ideal breakfast is: anything. I don't eat sometimes

If you visit my home town: I'll treat you coffee

If you spend the night at my house: You must bring lots of food!

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds: carabao?

I shouldn’t have been: too involved with my emotions

Last night I: drink coffee with chet

A better name for me would be: stupid

I’ve been told I look like: an Indian (Bombay kun baga)

If I could have any car, it would be: Ford Lynx

I’ll be passing this tag to Chet, Molit, Sir Talz and She..

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I hibernated

It's as if yesterday was just an overnight sleep and then I woke up it's already Monday. I have slept all day. I scheduled myself to study Nihongo yesterday but found myself lying on bed and sleeping. It'snot bad after all at least I have regained my energy (partly). So now I'm back for work even if it's holiday. Gotta finish some loads of tasks before another one piles up. I have to check my boss' laptop too. Jaa, gotta work!
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I'm Spinning

I don't understand the feeling I am drowned with tonight. Everything just seems so blurry that I feel I am choking by every bit of pain and anxieties. Can hardly breathe and my heart feels chained. I lose focus in my work if I continue to be like this, unreasonably hurting. I have to accomplish a big responsibility on Friday so my mind must be fixed with the goal. Tomorrow I will be facing one of the hands of the huge guest we will be having this Friday. I still have to set myself for tomorrow's welcome. Dear heart, please be tamed. Help me.

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Stop her please!

She feels so weak again… Why does she always feel this way? I thought she was fine after she found what longs her but it pains her even more finding out the past is not the same anymore. Sometimes she wished she should have expressed what’s inside her but her courage is not enough to tell everyone how she feels. And now, she’s stuck again in her room weeping… suppressing... every bit of emotional distress that eats her. Will someone tell her to stop before she gets dumped in the middle nowhere? Coz I… cannot stop her this time… :(

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Let Me Know How You Flirt

Sometimes I wish I could speak like Ryan Gosling when he said “I want all of you. Forever. Every day.” to Rachel McAdams in The Notebook. But of course I would love it hear it more than saying it. No kidding! :D

How skillful are you at flirting? Do you think you can get that Someone you like with words that will melt his or her heart? Then you must test your skills by playing Extreme Style by VO5's Ultimate Flirting Championship. I have played the game. Seems like I needed to grasp a few knowledge and skills though. *sigh! Well, it’s gonna be your time to play!

You may visit Victory Hair or Ultimate Flirting Championship

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My Rose is in Bloom

How happy I am seeing my rose still alive and blooming. A florist gave us a rose each and we placed them on our desks. After four days, the only rose that blooms and beautifully stood is mine. Can you believe the energy we exude affects these flowers too? Hmmm.. What energy could have came out of me that this rose is still in bloom? well...

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Emotionally...

I actually do not know how I feel tonight. I am emotionally tired and confused. Is it because I felt too drained this afternoon or is it just because of an immature something? I thought I have accomplished my tasks this afternoon but a simple yet important communication failed to be submitted. And here came another immaturity of me that I kept suppressing to avoid getting hurt. Let me not dwell on this exhausting emotion for now because my weak body could not take painful and exhausting emotions anymore.I feel numb tonight. (or was I just trying to be numb?) I wanted to rest. Rest ‘til my body retires from this exhausting duty I must accomplish. Rest ‘til my heart finds its home.

Honestly at this moment in time, my mind is wandering nowhere and I do not want to box myself in another self communicating activities. I don’t want to dwell about anything coz it makes me weaker. I cannot endure any pain right now. I can’t. I want to keep busy ‘til I unconsciously lay and sleep coz the more I think of it, the more it succumbs me to suffer. It makes me more exhausted. My heart is weeping but I do not want anything nor anybody to enter her right now. Please let me rest a while. Just for one night. And when I wake up tomorrow, I hope the sun will greet me with bright smile. Give me strength… please...
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I wanna go home!

It's exactly 11:07 in the evening now and here I am still trapped in this dungeon. How I wish I could escape but the rope tied on my legs is too tight for me to loosen. My back seemed weak to support my body. It aches. It searched for my bed. Even too weak to make this journal. I wanna go home!!!

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Where are you friends?

I met Excitement yesterday and she brought me joy that I could not imagine. I thought the days have passed and everything was just a memory of nothing but when we met, she gave me inspiration to live bright, to live each day with life. I was so happy then. But everything (or at least part) changed when I bumped with Anxiety this evening. For the last two years, she was my adversary. I distant myself to a world I wished to be a part of, to live in. But here she is again, speaking to me like another world will fall. I wish I can meet a good old friend to keep me strong, to encourage me to live life again. That everything is a game, you'll never know if you will win unless you play it.

Now I am calling my friends to please give me strength to face the world again. Please...
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Memory

Thanks dearie for the term and for sharing with me my bliss even if they were just shallow ones (you know what it was hehe). But time flipped on me so fast that I have unknowingly unleashed that very simple happening in my life which made me very happy for a while and then sad. Everything was turned into memory coz every pieces of it I can no longer grasp. I’ll be on guard next time so everything will not just pass but remain in me which I can hold on a lifetime.
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Heartburn

My heart is burning with no reason at all. Damn! Even if I refute the truth, I cannot deceive my own self. Why do I feel this way? Am I afraid that I will sink with the feeling again and get hurt or am I just merely concerned of somebody that I feel bad when this somebody does too? My foot steps on the ground while the other is almost slipping into my waterloo. I keep distant whenever I show compassion or concern to the people I love (romantically I say) but I feel guilty too whenever I stepped into their private lives thinking that I am stirring them. *Sigh! I hate this feeling. It feels good when there’s someone who assures you that everything is gonna be fine, hope I can find one.

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Who says it's petty?

Who says it's petty? I phoned a friend today telling him of a thing that affects me badly (not much, actually). He says I do not have to worry a thing coz some things just revolve plainly and people regard them as passing like a wind and we boxed them insensitive, inconsiderately hurting us but without them knowing. Well he's implying I'm overreacting to a petty situation and that I need not dwell on it. Am I really overreacting or I am just sensitive that he would not react to a situation I made? But he has a point though. So think I know the answer to the question.

It's gonna be me

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Can't escape this routine!

I filed for a half-day rest yesterday so I could rest a while but it was not enough still. I have to wake up at 5pm to attend a dinner party of a friend. We only meet once a year so I have to be there even if I have battled with my body for a rest. So there I went. We enjoyed the company of old but close and good friends of mine. We went home by eleven o’clock for we have responsibilities yet tomorrow. I have to come to the office again. If I were to choose, I wouldn’t have come here. We all wanted some time to excuse ourselves from our routine but this time I have none. I must come and finish everything for in the long run I will be the one to blame. So here I am with puffed eyes and strained body.

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Is it time yet?

Can't believe I'm still stuck in my dungeon. It's almost midnight now! Read more...

Tired... really

Initializing… Low Battery…

Yesterday my breakfast seemed not enough to compensate the energy I lost the other night. It’s odd that yesterday I always feel hungry all the time. Maybe my body needed be fed to restore the energy I lost.

I exploited my body again yesterday that’s why I feel weaker. Engaging my self to physical activities does little effect and strain on me than be emotionally stressed. I gave my dedication and performed well but a simple yet wrong statement uttered angered and weakened me. How can someone be so insensitive, inconsiderate and ignorant could just freely speak to me without thinking? Strong I may be but vulnerability still resides in me. And so I lose the intensity of keeping and making good in what I did. I was irritated.

But well, all these resentments were settled over a cup of coffee with a friend. I feel a bit fine at least...

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Zenni Optical, Stylish Designs for Stylish Individuals

Just recently, I've been dying to own one pair of eyeglasses because my eyes were strained facing my PC all day all week. I chose one pair last year and it was kinda expensive so I let my desire pass. This time, I am very eager to own one and my eyes caught one of the displays of the Incredible Stylish New Frames From Zenni. I super looove the style in the image above. Their stylish designs made the company appear online on Zenni Optical was on FOX news! The prices of the glasses are very affordable because they sell directly to the customers, visit Zenni Optical $ 8 Rx Eyeglasses to check yourself. Stylish designs for stylish individuals! Read more...

How long have I been idle?

The days passed so fast that I hardly noticed I haven't written any journals for four days. I have been idle in writing but for sure I haven't been idle in my work responsibilities. I have not even taken a rest this weekend that i hardly distinguish Friday from Sunday, don't even know that today is the first day at work. Don't get me wrong though, I am not really dedicated with this work. I just feel responsible. That's just it. But back to where we started. Ok, I fin'ly able to write this nonsense journal just to enable my blog to be active. I really hope I could have the bring-me gadget all the time so I can update my internet hobbies and jobs. But I don't have sufficient amount to own one. haaay... Seems like I will be stealing little time from work so I can fast browse the internet next time. hehe

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