15 Signs You're Meant to be Together

I have no intention of posting something like this but I find it interesting so I thought of sharing it to you.

Sometimes we wonder if we will end up together with our significant other in the future. And this is always a paranoia for those with age near to marrying. So why don't we take a look at these factors or signs that may shed light to our minds and hearts. Here are the 15 signs from Yahoo! that will tell us if we are on the right track. Enjoy reading! Dating Tips: 15 Signs You're Meant to be Together Read more...

Little English Collection

Christmas is approaching and here we are again on a dilemma on which gifts we have to give to our children, godchildren, nieces and nephews. What usual gifts do you give? I say apparels are good ones. If you don't have time to go to malls and stores, then try browsing the online Little English store. It offers a variety of clothing at a reasonable price.

Little English is a store of classic children's dresses. The most popular collection they have are the smocked dresses made of fine Brazilian cotton sewed to perfection. Each hand smocked children's design is hand drawn by designer and owner Shannon Cowles Latham.

There are a lot of designs to choose from. Their Peterpan collared dresses are best for Easter and Christmas, perfect for a dressier occasions. Play the style of an English settler while wearing these fine and candy colored dresses for little girls. They also have clothes for boys. Please do visit Little English. Read more...

Spotting Davao's Coolest...

Are you hoping to get a guide of what's Davao City up to? Visit Davao Etcetera and find out the coolest, hippest, and relaxing places to hang out. Travel, dine, drink and enjoy with your friends.

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How far would you go for the one you love?

A teary-eyed Korean video clip. For the English lyrics of this song, click here.


"BECAUSE I'M A GIRL" by: Kiss
Version English

I just can't understand the ways
Of all the men and their mistakes
You give them all your heart
And then they rip it all away

You told me how much you loved me
And how our love was meant to be
And I believed in you
I thought that you would set me free

(REFRAIN):
You should've just told me the truth
That I wasn't the girl for you
Still, I didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you, whoa

(CHORUS):
Although I'll say I hate you now
Though I'll shout and curse you out
I'll always have love for you
Because I am a girl

Been told a man will leave you cold
Get sick of you and bored
I know that it's no lie
I gave my all, still I just cry

Never again will I be fooled
To give my all when nothing's true
I won't be played again
But I will fall in love again

(REFRAIN)

(CHORUS)

I loved you so
Now you leave me in the cold
How could this be
I thought that you'd only love me

Into the night
I will pray that you're alright
You hurt me so
I just can't let you go

You took advantage of my willingness
To do anything for love
Now I'm the only one in pain
Will you please take it all away

Never thought being born a girl
How I can love you and be burned
And now I will build a wall
To never get torn again

(CHORUS) [2x]

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The Gift I Have

A friend once gave me one variety of a tree some 5 years ago (or maybe 7, I forgot). It was still a plant when it was given. I remembered I was still in my college years those times. It was something I never gave much attention to or taken cared much as I was an ideal but typical student, concerned of getting a higher mark to maintain my academic privilege. Years gone by and I hardly noticed that the plant turned into a tree and was growing healthier and bigger, even without me taking care of it. Nature really has its way of everything. I was amazed. Soon I tried nursing it by my own hands. It did grew well.

This tree is an inspiration. It gives me joy. Everyday I look forward to seeing it, wanting to see that it is healthy and fine. The anticipation is a vitamin that energizes me. That beyond these anxieties and troubles I have, I still have this wonderful gift making me feel I have conquered my fears and the world.

Nature has its give and take cycles, I know. Yet, this, the gift that was given to me even if cannot speak the language I am speaking, just the presence of it is a joy for me. They have said I must give back to Nature the nursing so I can take care of other things too because Nature brings back everything to dust. And they knew that this will bring me to grief. And yes, I am trying to let go of the nursing; bringing it back to Nature slowly.

I know that soon I can finally let Nature take care of it in full. The tree will have to meet day and night but all in accordance to Nature. It will grow bigger and sturdy but it will also have to return to the earth's crust. It may not be soon. But the Acacia Tree will, eventually.

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The Climb

I am currently addicted to this song. It always reminds me to continue living my dreams. love it!

The Climb
OST Hannah Montanna

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa Read more...

Last Chance

This song just keeps on popping out my mind and I unconsciously, constantly singing its few lines. I don't know either why it suddenly came on me. So I go online and search for the song title and its lyrics. And... EUREKA! Here it is! ;) Last Chance by Allure. You can view the video here.

LAST CHANCE
by Allure

This is my last dance with you
This is my only chance to do all I can do
To let you know that what I feel for you is real

This is the last chance for us
This is the moment that I just cannot let end
Before I know that theres a chance were more than friends

So dont let go, dont let go
Make it last all night
This is my last chance to make you mine

I kept my feelings so deep
I kept my dreams of you and me somewhere inside
Although I prayed that you would see it in my eyes

But this is my last chance to say
Whats in my heart before you stay out of my life
And then youll understand the way I feel inside

So hold me close cause it feels so right
This is my last chance to make it mine
Make this dream reality
So close and yet so far
Gotta find a way into your heart
Gotta speak my mind
Gotta open up to you this time
I cant let you slip away tonight
This is my last dance iwth you

This is my only chance to do all I can do
To let you know that what I feel for you is so real
So dont let go
Just make it last all night long
This is my last chance to make you mine, yeah
To make you mine Read more...

Relaxing

Good thing I was able to relax with my friends for two days. The time was worthwhile. I felt the crust of the earth under my feet, the sunshine, the wind and most especially the waters. Wooh! I had a splash of my life! The vacation was a cheap thrill and very adventurous. I will always remember that time that which I cannot take back and return. It was odd for I think I may not be able to do that again. :( Read more...

Another Luxurious Collection

With my constant buzzy and busy days, time plays an important role. Time is Gold. It must never be put to waste. I learned so many lessons of spending my time to waste. Expecting that I can recover the lost moments, I never could. And I learned to value time... slowly though. ;)

I have three (3) Time Zones on my laptop, reminding me that I must not forget that I am working for three (3) countries and that each time is significant. I got cellphones to alarm and remind me that I have activities and events, tasks to do. Yet, what I do not have is a wristwatch that will tell me time conveniently.

I always think that if I own one, it must be of good quality, a trusted one. Panerai Watches caught my interest and started to browse about this watch. I say it is a Luxury Watch Brand - Panerai, an elegantly masculine-designed watch. Established since 1860, this watch has proven to be a quality-made and a must-have for men of ages. Do they also have counterparts for women?
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Heading off for Cheap Thrills!

The earth's crust has always been the best floor to walk on. I have hoped to do this months before I landed on a new job. I thought this will be deprived of me knowing that life ahead (thinking from the past) will keep much of my time. It is indeed, yes. I was deprived of sunshine, wind, water, and earth. And now it's time for me to spend myself with them. Yipee! I gotta go nature tripping with my friends soon!;) We will be wandering of a nearby province with our sneakers and backpacks. I missed the nature's bounty and I wish to spend my time with her soon. I am leaving! Read more...

Sporting for your team's needs

Nothing keeps you up beat than staying fit and healthy all the time. Maintain a healthy diet by keeping a constant workout at gyms near you or simply enjoy the sports you are playing. They keep you abreast with the fast pace of life and avoid you being stressed out, especially with today's lifestyle.

My life is all about work and home but I see to it that if I miss my badminton sessions, I always have my belly dancing in the house. These keep me fit and relaxed. Working out can sometimes be tiring for me so I enjoy sports with my cousins and childhood friends playing soccer or volleyball. It gets me in the circle.

For students, yuppies and professionals who enjoy summer the best way, enjoying the outdoors will be very great. Some enrolls at sports clinics and some are on the constant play of their favorite sports. Engaging in sports do not just hone your skills and get you physical but also gets you into socializing with your team and meeting different faces. It is not just on summer, but it may be weekends or weekdays to get you going.

If you're into sports and needing equipments for your team, may it be volleyball, football, soccer, baseball and softball, even cheerleading, or any other sports that need equipments and materials,do drop by this e-store and find what your team will need. This is a great store where you will find the best deals and savings for your team.

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Feel Good, Look Good

I just had a conversation with a good friend this afternoon. A friend of hers told her that she is growing prettier recently. 'Maybe you just feel good and that reflects the aura', I told her. She laughed and approved after I reminded her that the previous environment she has was toxic.

Aside from the piles of work she had in the past, she became unhappy toward the management, toward the BOSS. Her workmates were great. She had no problems with them. But they are not enough to console everything. She hadn't realized she was growing old, unconsciously stressed out with the duties and the management. She later realized, left and found a new place.

Now, everytime I look at her I see a bright personality. She may have great responsibilities at work but she greatly works with her boss and she loves what she's doing. She looks good because she feels good in everything.

The people around us affect how we think and feel because we are constantly moving with them. Fortunately, this friend of mine has found her place and she's unceasingly thriving for fulfillment and self-worth.

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The Alchemist

A dear friend gave me the book The Alchemist last Friday which supposedly be his Christmas present. But since it is a very popular book, we have difficulty owning a copy then. Luckily, he surprised me with one. Thanks dear!

Setting off for our dreams is a real tough and risky act. It entails courage, or even life itself. What is your Personal Legend? Were you able to communicate with the Soul of the World and the Language of the World? This is the theme of this book. The most popular, I think, aside from The Zahir of Paulo Coelho. (finished reading it by 4 hours) If this was the first book I read from Paulo, I would have shed tears like that of The Zahir. But I still find Zahir the best of all his works.

This is a story of a young boy named Santiago, a shepherd boy who lives in Andalusia and constantly dreams of a treasure. But everytime a location of that treasure is about to be revealed, it is always interrupted. While on his journey flocking sheep to Tangier to sell wool, he seeks the Gypsy from Tarifa for an interpretation. The King of Salem whom he also met in the plaza told him that he will find the treasures in the Pyramids of Egypt. That he must make his Personal Legend.

He sold his sheep to find the treasures. On his journey, he lost his money to a thief and worked as assistant to the crystal merchant. When he has enough savings to cross the Sahara desert toward Egypt, he traveled with the Englishman seeking the alchemist to learn how to turn lead into gold, met Fatima the desert woman in the oasis whom he fell inlove with, and guided by the Alchemist to fulfill his Personal Legend, learn the Language of the World, and find the treasure.

Did Santiago find his treasure? Was he able to return to his love?

We set our hearts and minds to the path that leads us to our Treasure and leave the things that are part of us. When we reached the end, it brought us back to the beginning where the treasure just lies.

What do we risk in order to achieve what we wanted? The possessions we have, the love we have found, and the life we live. Are we ready to sacrifice these for the sake of our dreams? ambitions? How has life taught us to become while in the midst of achieving them?

'Paulo once said that alchemy is all about pursuing our spiritual quest in the physical world as it was given to us. It is the art of transmuting the reality into something sacred, of mixing the sacred and the profane.'

Setting off for our dreams is never easy. We take some and lose some. But most importantly, on the path to fulfilling our dreams are a bunch of lessons in life. The more we challenge ourselves, the more we become confident and wiser in life. So never stop hoping, dreaming, and living. Be an Alchemist in your own.

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Make Yourself More Valuable in your Workplace

How do we make ourselves more valuable to the company we're working? I actually do not know. Work hard, harder, hardest? Hmmm that doesn't pay at all. Even though you have shown dedication to your job, chances are of less acknowledgment. Efforts are not seen and you get more frustrated because you cannot have what you wanted to achieve. Why? Because you have a dumb boss and a stale, rusty management.

Actually, for me there are just two most important factors that determine one's worth in the company: MANAGEMENT and WORKER itself. Why these? Because they co-relate with each other. Albeit you are the the outstanding employee, if there's no support from the management, promotion or reward, you cannot make it to the top. You're left on the same platform. And this keeps you loathing all the time. But, if you are connected (a friend, a relative, or an acquaintance perhaps) to the top bosses, however you're a slop, you're given chances. And you end up leaving or staying depending on your will and needs. But this is just a matter of fate.

So you see, I think there is no real and actual ways to make yourself valuable on the workplace. It just depends on how you see yourself valuable to them. If you think you're not too good for them, strive to be the best in your field and duty. If you are the best yet no return, better think many times. You best know the politics, I mean, atmosphere of your company so think how to make it best for you.

However, there are some factors that we are of control. This, however, will be up to your judging. Take this 5 tips for making yourself more valuable to your company.

1.) Designate one day per week when you will come in early. Get there before the boss does; if you can manage it, get there before everyone else does, too. It doesn't have to be the same day each week, and it doesn't have to be by much, but that little extra bit of facetime can go a long way toward keeping you on the office radar and reminding people that you are, indeed, dedicated to the company.

2.) Designate one day per week when you will stay late. Later than your boss, later than everyone else, if you can, for the same reason stated above. Facetime, facetime, facetime.

3.) Look busy. A New York Times article about looking busy struck a chord with me, not because I'm lacking in things to do around the office, but because I hadn't thought about it before. I work at a computer -- I'd have to try hard not to look busy -- but if you're not at a desk job, then make sure you look like you have plenty to do, even if that means refolding the shirt display eleventy billion times a week.

4.) Be busy. Take on extra work if you can. I've noticed that, over the past few months, my mindset has changed from "They don't pay me enough to deal with that" to "Well, they pay me." A friend of mine whose husband was just laid off explained it this way: We've gone from a sense of entitlement -- not "I deserve a bonus because I'm great" but "I've worked here for 15 years, I ought to be able to work part time if I need to" -- to having to buckle down and compete with everyone all over again. Your company is going to want to wring every last bit of effort out of you in exchange for that paycheck; it's a lot more palatable if you beat them to it.

5.) Expand your skill set. Think of it this way: If you were just entering the workforce, you'd consider an unpaid internship, right, just to get the experience? Try to choose something you haven't done often before and, when the project is complete, add it to your resume, and show your boss that you have skills above and beyond the ones they hired you for.

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When I Dream

I constantly dream these past few days and this reminds me of the Psychology subject I had with Mr. Henzel. Why do we dream and what do they mean? I got to read a brief information on it, just to refresh my memory, and yours too. ;)

The act of dream is physiological (physical), whereas the content of the dream is psychological. The images, emotions and activities of the dream are a product of the individual's unconscious mind, having to do with the total make-up of one's human condition (conscious and unconscious). Most images (symbols) in dreams are personal representations of the individual (dealing with events and emotions in our waking lives), but also found within the dream are representations (symbols) that have nothing to do with the individual's personal knowledge. These are what Carl Jung called the archetypal images, images that are from the collective knowledge of all mankind (actually predate mankind itself), and their images are tendencies of the human mind that form representations of mythological motifs - representations that can vary a great deal without losing their basic patterns. An archetype is not a specific image or motif but variations of the images and motifs that are found in mythology. The archetype is a predisposition (previous inclinations) to an image, a common psychic structure that parallels the common human structure (patterns in life). The archetype itself cannot be experienced; all we can know of it is its effect on dreams, emotions, actions and other mental contents.

Perhaps the best word for the archetype is emotions, or more acturately emotional complexes. Dreams are stating the present condition (psychological, physical and metaphysical) of the dreamer, at the time of a particular dream. The total condition of the dreamer is being played out within the dream and the images and motifs are a reference to those particular conditions. What is lacking in the unconscious state of mind (the dream) is the bias and prejudgices found in the waking state of consciousness. It is like another person, one without preconceived ideas or prejudgices about the dreamer, watching the dreamer and then giving a true account of what is happening in the dreamer's conscious life. This can be a physical event (with the emotional influences), a psychological condition, a metaphysical reference or, perhaps a combination of two or more of the dreamer's conditions. The dream is about the total human experience and most of the images and themes (motifs)are taken from the vast vault of experiences from the dreamer's life, but also has a reference to the archetypal motifs (universal themes). It is the emotions at play, seeking to inform the dreamer of what is really taking place in the dreamer's life. And even though it is the emotions that carry the greatest weight within the dream, it is also referencing to the physical and metaphysical (spiritual, creative) condition of the dreamer's life.

Please read What Are Dreams? for more details.

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The Winner Stands Alone

A new book that will again touch hearts and influence the many. The Winner Stands Alone is a new novel about following one's dreams. What does the society impose one to become and to have? Sometimes we are greatly manipulated by the society realizing in the end after achieving them we asked ourselves: Are we happy? Are we satisfied? Are we whole? This recurrent theme of the book will let us get back to when the world was just plain and ordinary. Achievement is not what people look about us, it is about self-worth and fulfillment.

Can't wait to have my own copy of Paulo Coelho's. The novel, however, is not yet available in the Philippines. (oops! I just grabbed my own copy, 4/20/09, yipee!) Released dates in other countries are as follows:

March: UK and Russia
April: France, Greece, Holland, USA, Hungary, India (in English), South Africa, Lebanon and Middle East
May: Australia, Iran, Bulgaria, Poland and Slovakia

You may visit PauloCoelhoBlog for further details.

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One More Chance

'Just give me one more chance...' I was singing a few lines from Madonna's when flashes of events came before me that made me stopped.

Another chance for me to live a life that is valuable. That I need to take all the time and effort to make it worthwhile. I need to get back to the mainstream. I need to be fed, information and experience wise. I need to make use of everything to get me started and moving.

I hope this Chance won't slip in my hands. Another time means another play.

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RP Blacklisted

The recent meeting of Group of 20 Leaders or known as G20 held last Friday in London blacklisted the Philippines for being one of the four uncooperative tax havens worldwide. Other countries include Uruguay,Costa Rica and the Malaysian territory of Labuan.

The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) named the four as uncooperative tax havens at the request of G20 because they failed to concede with the new rules of financial openness, failed to exchange tax information. Countries that are blacklisted will be sanctioned by the OECD, which may include withdrawal of financial assistance from the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund. The G20 summit would want to answer global economic crisis and setting off new rules on banking secrecy is a step for solving it.

Tax havens are places where taxes are collected at low rate or not at all. These will deliberately attract investors and exploit foreign demand opportunities to move in to them for tax avoidance.

After the recent summit, the Philippines released a statement that they are willing to abide with the new set of rules but it may take time as this will need a government legislation for the current Bank Secrecy Law.

The Bank Secrecy Law was legislated in 1955 primarily aimed to attract foreign investors after the nation was under colony. Under the law, all peso and dollar deposits, including government-issued bonds, are completely considered confidential unless courts order for its issuance for any pending cases or impeachment. The impeachment case of former President Estrade though was considered weak as banks did not give transaction records as they are covered with the Bank Secrecy Law. Same is what happens with the Legacy Group case where bank records are kept confidential in investigation.

Moreover, because of this law's flaws, Philippines has been declared by the Financial Action Task Force on Money Laundering as a haven for money laundering of drug trafficking, kidnapping and gambling.

The Philippines must hastily uplift the blacklist to still receive assistance from the global community, moreover, with World Bank and IMF. Bank Secrecy Law is a good strategy to attract investing firms but at times like this, global economic crisis, all we need is a decision and act that will balance everything.

For more information visit
http://ph.news.yahoo.com/star/20090403/tph-g20-blacklists-rp-other-tax-havens-541dfb4.html
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/04/03/09/govt-aims-get-oecd-tax-blacklist

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Aitakute, Tomodachi

'Aitakute', I wanted to tell you all this because I miss our laughter and long talks over coffee. I miss our company, our friendship.

To Wiseman who has indirectly taught me life's philosophy, take care and stay healthy.

To the Disciple of Paulo Coehlo who introduced him to me and for life's inspirations it gave me, my coffee partner, press on.

To Mommy who has showed me the courageous path of living and the joy of it, be Joy-ous still.

To Arm-man who is I know a very loving and patient man, stay the same.

To Madam Butterfly for leading me to what is real, keep safe.

To the people who have played roles in molding my working and social relations, you helped me be Me.

For everything we have been and for anything we may have, I (will) cherish them all.

I miss you all!

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Lucky

There are certain moments in our lives that we think we are but ordinary people living in an ordinary world. When in these times, we think that everyday is just plain but a continuous cycle of survival. We failed to see life's beauty, preoccupied on how to achieve the peak of success and fulfill self-worth. Yet, when we are in the brink of a circumstance when we almost to fail or vanish, the past flashes back and we are brought to realize life's significance. We ponder on and began cherishing little things, little ways. We then realize that all these times, we have been protected by great Hands.

I wrote this journal to tell myself that I am fortunate to have the Father with me. That when I thought I lost my worth, I was proven worthy. That when I thought I will be empty, I was filled.

Like any ordinary humans, I am imperfect. Yet, the heavens continue to bless me in little ways. And I am incessantly grateful.
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Starting Anew

Just to give a little update of my life (coz I’ve been sleeping for a few days now), I have started to create a new, well very different, day schedule. I finally able to unlock the chain I myself did for a long time. I have started to move on, although it was harder to welcome a new life than to leave the past behind. But everybody must let there lives be shone by new light even if that means shedding of our shields and feel and experience what new life has to bring us. Just as I said saying hello is harder than saying goodbye.

Taking new chances mean redressing the past and starting anew. I have grown with goodbyes, I thought so. Maybe because for quite some time I have taught myself that nothing remains the same forever. We have to grow and we have to change. That is why we cast off security for a room of love and growth. And even this new life is far different from what I have lived, I think I would love it. I’m gonna love it.

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The Reciprocal of Love is Death

Valentine’s Day is just three days to go. This means another year or months for lovers in love. I previously wrote blessed are those who celebrate it and miseries for none. I was referring to those who have no beaux to celebrate it at all. I was not expecting that there are also those who ended up loving before that day strikes. I apologize if I have overlooked such incident. It is a painful event when a person you truly love leaves you. And I grieve with you.

Someone told me that the reciprocal of love is not hate, it’s the absence of it. Then an incident came. The word DEATH strikes me. Could the reciprocal of love replace Nothing with Death?

I read a line from someone intimate of someone intimate to me. Was that understood? Well, I leave that vagueness. The tone implies ‘I can live without you but that would be a life full of miseries’. Then came a time that the person she loves left her in abrupt. She cannot take it. Dying, she thought, was the best way to escape life. I thought she would live in miseries but why escape that life through death? When all we could think death is the best way to free us from miseries, that would be a wrong notion. Worst when we commit suicide and yet we failed to achieve the sting of death. It worsens your being. It worsens the view of people around you. Good if you are able to cope up with the trial and renew yourself once more.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (Love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

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I Fear Hello

I have learned that saying goodbye is easier than saying hello.

We are afraid to fly. We are afraid to commit. We wanted to leave the darkness but the light in the open will penetrate the eyes and blind them; so we decided to close them once again.

We wanted to get out of the cave but the moment we step closer toward the beautiful but unfamiliar world, we stop and prefer to have both feet standing still.

We wanted to grow. We wanted to change. But when change came and opportunity opened its doors, we often hoped that they have not come at all; so we don’t have to welcome them.

Some people, after deciding to leave a part of them behind, regret after saying goodbye. They wished they had stayed behind than to face a new world before them.

Why do we prefer to stay on the ground than to climb a fewer steps? Why do we lose strength building something new when we have struggled to get out of the old and live anew?

Fear is what overshadows us. Fear that we might not cope with the changes. Fear that we might not live well. Fear that we might fail. Fear that we have not made changes at all. That living a new life, of starting anew, is another struggle more difficult than turning our back to the things and people we left, to the old ones we once were.

Because we know that staying on the ground is far safer than climbing with no harness at all.

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I Wanna Go To A Place

I was playing my ongaku folder today which I just copied from a friend, realizing that the songs I was playing were all sad ones. I ran across heartaches and goodbyes. Then I met Yui and Rie Fu.

I Wanna Go To A Place
I Remember You



I Wanna Go To A Place
by: Rie Fu

I wanna to a place where I can say
That I'm all right and I'm staying there with you
I wanna know if there could be anyway
That there's no fight, and I'm safe and sound with you]

And everytime I look, I thought you were there,
But it was just my imagination
I don't see it anymore cause I see thru you now

imademo kidzukanai deshou kono shizuka na sora ni
itsudemo omoidasu kedo mou doko nimo modorenai

soshite zutto kokoro de samete sotto kidzuite
itsuka kitto yasashisa mietekuru you ni

What's stopping me? I get stuck again
Is it really OK? It's never OK for me
What's got into me? I get lost again
Is it really OK? It's never going to be

soshite motto sagashite me no mae ni kidzuite
asu wa kitto kazamuki mo kawaru you ni
kaze ga sotto sasayaku ugomeku nowa kono daichi
mayawanaide yasashisa mietekuru you ni

And every time I look, I thought you were there,
But it was just my imagination
I don't see it anymore cause I see thru you now

I wanna go to a place where I can say
That I'm all right and I'm staying there with you

_____________________________________________________________

I wanna to a place where I can say
That I'm all right and I'm staying there with you
I wanna know if there could be anyway
That there's no fight, and I'm safe and sound with you]

And everytime I look, I thought you were there,
But it was just my imagination
I don't see it anymore cause I see thru you now

Even now you still haven't noticed this quiet sky
I am always thinking of it, but I can no longer return to there

And I will always be awake in my heart, gently taking notice
That someday I will be able to see kindness

What's stopping me? I get stuck again
Is it really OK? It's never OK for me
What's got into me? I get lost again
Is it really OK? It's never going to be

And I will search harder to realize the things in front of my eyes
Even the wind's direction will surely change tomorrow
The wind whispers gently, the one that moves is the earth
Find the way and I will be able to see kindness

And every time I look, I thought you were there,
But it was just my imagination
I don't see it anymore cause I see thru you now

I wanna go to a place where I can say
That I'm all right and I'm staying there with you

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Nightmares for Daljas

With the world revolving, another month awaits the living. It's February again and soon the air will be filled with love. Fortunate are those who can celebrate that day with their special someone. Blissful are they. Miseries for those who have none? Nah that’s too harsh…

After reminding my sisters that next month is a love fever, the house was filled with laughter. It would be a nightmare, my younger sister said. Another emptiness, for the society celebrates it even if it is not officially declared. The Daljas would end up staring at the window again waiting for no one to hand them flowers or even greetings. Although we don’t regard it as something significant. It’s no big deal. Really. Some are just used to those times because they are just like any ordinary days they had. Like no other days are special, except of course on birthdays which they specially celebrate plus the Christmas and New Year with the whole family. Yet, I believe that there is still a longing of the heart to seek for its half. I admit.

Some people regard the hearts day as special while others just plainly consider it ordinary. Me? I am caught up in the middle. I told a friend I better receive no invitation than be invited with someone I don’t like. Seems like I will be filled with goosebumps that time. So it is better to be alone during that day than to be with someone I don’t want to be with. That’s better than sticking my ass with that someone. It will be a misery. I am not harsh. That’s just how I feel. *grin

Alone or not during hearts day, it doesn’t matter at all. (just pretending to be ok hahaha)

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Beauty Madness or Maddens?

The context of beauty is too broad. Although the jargon is frequently used, it somehow emptied my brain with its definition. Many define the term on their own but what is beauty by the way?

My inquisitiveness pushed me to my constant aid when it comes to information searching, the Internet. As usual, it did not fail me. But the definitions were a little tough to comprehend. It fed my brain but it was not satisfying. Maybe I make my own definition. Tougher. (*sigh) The broad and different meanings I just squeezed together. Brilliant, ornamental, attractive, excellent quality, are what mostly defining it; beauty is the quality that exalts the mind or spirit; the quality of an attribute that is pleasing to the senses or the mind. Something that is pleasing I guess would define it well. Well that narrowed to the obsolete but famous quote, “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”. It is subjective, resonating from personal perceptions.

Something came into my senses and I began to ask. Why do people hold on to beauty while others destroy it? I then remembered my favorite author. The one that we kept on holding is the one that we want to destroy. But well, we won’t be dealing with that. Let us just stay shallow on bodily beauty. This will be easier, I think.

When does beauty become madness? A madden? It depends on the intensity of the admiration and emotions we set off.

Eyes tell brain that what they see and discover is something interesting and captivating. Then brains tell hearts that they desire it.

So when does it become madness? It becomes one when admiration is at its best. The eyes cannot take its vision away from the object. The heart becomes childish wanting to own the beauty the eyes have seen.

It is madness when the heart is playful with what it felt. A folly heart is a heart engrossed with emotions that it tends to do anything to make it happy. To experience bliss. The state stays there for as long as it decides to be that way. For as long as it is healthy. But when it deviates, it becomes a madden.

There is beauty madden when we want to destroy beauty. A selfish heart won’t let anybody admire it but itself alone. We usually associate this feeling on fanatics who believed that it is better to see their idols die than compete for attention with other fans. So they kill what they admire and desire the most. Likewise with lovers filled with envy.

There is also beauty madden when we cannot let other beauty overpower ours. We always search for the person’s negativity just to believe that behind that beauty is an ugly face. So we would believe that nobody is more beautiful than us. We wanted to believe that we are the fairest of all beings. Like that of the wicked stepmother of Snowhite who rummaged the forest to kill the latter.

‘Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’. For whatever reasons we say that one thing, one person, one memory, one instance, is beautiful or not, we are the sole critic. As I say, beauty is seen subjective. Be it a madness or a madden, what matters is that we control the intensity of the emotions we exude. The brain is still the highest deciding power who controls us. For as long as it stays a madness, admiring one’s beauty is in its healthy stage. The pain of losing somebody or something must not overpower one’s being, or else it will become a madden.

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A Stifled Heart

I wanted to cry a pail of tears but a river of it is better. My feet cannot step sideways. It was stuck between these constricted parallel lines. It did not give me the chance to choose, for nothing is fit for a stay. My stifled heart is striving for a little air. It's screaming, "When will I be finally free?"

Thanks to Konayuki (powdered snow). It served as the soothing element of that gloomy heart. I do not know what the song meant, at all. (I was an absentee of Nihongo class) Although the lyrics was a total stranger the music unknowingly relieved the tension that crept me. The melody filled my heart and it slowly brought back its calmness. Thank heavens I was up again. This wretched emotions might crash others' if it decides to stay. Soon, the smile appeared and everything was in place. (although I know that it was volatile)

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Rent-a-Van

Planning to take vacation in Davao City but no transport vehicle to tour the city? Worry not as we are offering transport vehicles to make your escapade convenient and worthwhile. We offer vans and cars for rentals.

City tour will cost P3000 all-in with tour on Eden Nature Park or Phil Eagle, Japanese Tunnel, Crocodile Park, Japanese Museum, Davao Museum, Jack's Ridge, and Aldevinco Shopping Center. Additional rate for itineraries outside city vicinity.

For Camp Sabros, P2800 for one-way and P4500 for roundtrip.

For other travel destination near the city, please send me email.

For pricing details and reservations, you may contact me at (082) 234-0521 or 0922-7272525. You may also email dvo.tours@yahoo.com with a subject BEB for your itineraries.

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Humility At Its Best

Never had I thought of a conversation with humility, like that. It was a relief too, knowing that after what happened, a person as such could humbly talked to me and settled what should be settled. It was not something to change what I had decided for I will definitely not. It was a conversation of settling differences, alone. There's no love at all, no hatred too, just a plain intention of moving forward.

One person said that I am becoming good now that I have to leave imprints on them. I say, I am not. I am still the same. Imperfect. But I have to admit that a little kindness filled me nowadays. Maybe it's because I am moving toward the right direction and it is just proper to leave people who became part of your life with good impression and memories too. It's better to leave that way than to carry burden as I go on and bad relationships behind.

I know I have my shortcomings. Imperfect like I said. But I am also sensitive and sensible to the people around me. I may not be as good as others but at least I have started to know I made my mistakes and redress them. I have learned on this journey. That what matters most.

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What's Wrong With These Eyes?

The sun's rays are blinding my unsheathed eyes as I open the windows. They were immersed from the artificial light the whole time, barely blinking from the stressful rays of the CRT. I cannot peer through the window to look over my dog which constantly barks for the reason I do not know.

I kept myself busy. I did the chores as early as five in the morning to keep me tired so I can finally take a rest after. To no avail, I am still sitting infront of this PC. Trying hard to strain my eyes so I will be forced to sleep. Still, I can't.

When will I be able to take even a nap to restore my energy. The black circles around my eyes are getting wider. I might be mistaken as one of the casts of the Dawn of the Dead. Damn! Tomorrow's a Monday and I must be in a healthy look. Maybe I just need a time to lay on bed and practice closing my eyes. I might fall asleep. Anyway, my sister's already up so she can look after the house now. Gotta do some napping session. I hope I can. ;)

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The Tradition of the Sun Appeared

I should have written this post immediately after its revelation. The Tradition of the Sun appeared before me that night. I was actually expecting for it to happen but I never thought it would really take form in reality. I was happy then.

Yet, it was a night far to remember. It was just like any ordinary nights I had, unfortunately. Except that the face once again appeared before me for so long time. I thought that it would bring me something new or change a little of my destiny. It did not. The Tradition of the Sun did not bring me joy. The image just sat there. It was silent the whole night. I thought it would fulfill what was written in its book of journey. For long, I have waited for the words to put me into trance but it never spoken, not even a word. The I should, I must, and I will were silent. They seemed to be washed away or was blown away with the storm. It was not my fate, perhaps. You meet your Soulmate but it doesn't mean you end up together.

Sad. But I must continue living and forget about the Tradition. If I will grip, I will still lose my hand in the end for it will stress my arms in it, my heart most especially.

What if it will return? I will face it if and only if it will reveal itself fully and fulfill what it has to do. Then I will reach my arms and embrace it fully. Even if it will mean, pain after a loss in the end. Yet as they say, where there is love there is pain, and where there is pain there is love. Then I must not stop hoping.

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The Other

I stayed on bed for an hour trying to shut my body from that unplanned night. I failed. I stood up and finished reading the book I recently bought. I still can't sleep. What's wrong with me. Oops, I must have overslept that afternoon I remembered. I would love to believe that everything was just fine. It was actually, but my brain oftentimes wanted to speak to me. My heart isn't just ready for the confrontation. So now I know why. My body can't rest because these two are battling over me.

I observed the woman I had been up until then: weak but trying to give the impression of strength. Fearful of everything but telling herself it wasn't fear - it was the wisdom of someone who knew what reality was. Putting up shutters in front of windows to keep the joy of the sun from entering - just so the sun's rays wouldn't fade my old furniture.

The gods throw the dice, and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not. They don't care if when you go, you leave behind a lover, a home, a career, or a dream. The gods don't care whether you have it all, whether it seems that your every desire can be met through hard work and persistence. The gods don't want to know about your plans and your hopes. Somewhere they're throwing the dice - and you are chosen. From then on, winning or losing is only a question of luck.

'I am just like everyone else who listens to their heart: a person who is enchanted by the mystery of life. Who is open to miracles, who experiences joy and enthusiasm for what they do. It's just that the Other, afraid of disappointment, kept me from taking action... But there is suffering... And there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggle for your dreams than to be defeated without ever even knowing what you're fighting for.'

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Love is Like a Dam

I do not have a childhood sweetheart unlike Pilar but I do have someone my heart longed like that of hers. I kept wanting him, although and even though there's a wall I built to keep my heart separated. It may stumble anytime depending on how sturdy I was building it, yet afraid that it will in reality. I was Pilar in this case too. 'Love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current.' I believe that I know my limits; that I can control myself; that I know how much suffering I could bear. But if that wall stumbles out of unexpected factors, love, so powerful, takes over. 'To love is to lose control'

If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him... Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

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I Must Tell You This

These past few nights, I have not seen the moon. It seemed to be hiding behind those dark clouds. Only the stars are visible at nights, oftentimes, not. Last night, I gazed at the sky and only saw the stars. They are countable unlike the other nights when I was still able to see different forms and figures. After I doze a little, I was awakened by the heavy downpour on the roof. And I knew nothing twinkled and shone anymore that night.

But one thing I forgot to tell you. I saw again the same moon that captured me. I just forgot when that night was specifically. I was surprised the feeling once again took over me. I was glad I was able to see him again full figured covered with light.

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That Word Helped

Rage swallowed me this noon. Thankful I am I was able to control my temper. That was after I uttered the F word surprisingly. It was something that I am not capable of saying especially that I was consciously (well partly) present with all other persons I am dealing with. But hey, it surprisingly worked. I felt a lot better. Sharing with friends helped me subside that rage too.

Idiot people better not speak their nonconstructive minds. Silence is better. Sensibility is a whole lot better.

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Rage Overpowering

I don’t want anger to overpower my being. It is unhealthy. I am trying hard to stay calm despite what you have done to me. Please… I don’t want to leave a stained relationship. I want everything to be in place. But here you are again, trying to dig it all up. I am distressed. It could have been better if you have not talked to me. It was a useless and pointless conversation. I could have healed instantly. I could have forgotten everything. But today, you were such a coward, a toy, an indecisive being! Fool! You should have not ruined this day for nothing!

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I Filed a Divorce

It was a decision difficult to make. Actually, right now I really don't know at all. I was as sturdy as narra but now, a little fear shone on me. (i'll get over it soonest) Leaving a long-time partner is a paralysis somehow. My world revolved around him for so long. It gave me a little of comfort and security. But they were not enough to let me feel loved. Now, only hope I can rely on. Hoping that somewhere, somehow, sometime, a good partner will finally see my worth, take care and love me the way I wanted.

But there is no time to waste for every tick of second's hand is significant as life itself. I must be free from his powers, from his oppression, from his coldness, from his silence. And today is the fulfillment of the partial freedom I was asking. It was a courageous decision over a difficult situation.

Love is something that is shared two-way. It is never one-sided. I am tired. I must remove this chain in my heart. It is not breathing... It is not growing... It is not loving... at all. I hate to leave you, especially the people that I also came to love. Yet I will. I must. I should.


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Like the Throne, Hate the Thorns

For a few days, I was able to breathe a little air and escape the polluting environment I was moving. It was a relief I say. Although I had spent mind exhausting activities those times, I still find it better than moving with the people I mostly had contact with. I was even hoping I could spend the whole month or the next month or the succeeding months free of worries and free from the constant unruly doubts thrown at people. Here I am, sitting again on this throne acting like I like everything. Don't get me wrong, literally I love my throne. It's the thorns that associate with it that I do not like. Whew! Well, all I could do is just wait for that moment when all else will be freed.

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Between Good and Evil

Are humans evil or good by nature? This is the question posed primarily by Paulo Coelho's The Devil and Miss Prym. Being good or evil can be affected by either punishment or reward. The book answered with an implication that greatly depends on the individuality of a person. In the end, what emerged is the choice of a person and how influential the Voice is within.

I never thought I would be battling between good and evil. Not until this morning. The situation is different from the story of Miss Prym for I would not be receiving reward nor punishment. But the decision is too difficult to make. If I make a move to stop one person, I might end up in a conflict. If I make no move, I will be an accessory of destroying the other. I wish I had not been too curious and involved so that I have not heard the whole incident and the plans of the former. Now the situation had affected me because the two people are dear and close to me. I do not dwell much of this because it really stirs me. But I fairly know that whichever I choose to do, there will always be great consequences for everybody.

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Where's the Beauty of the Moon

I was sitting outside at night gazing at the dark sky when I remembered one night when I admired the beauty of the moon. It was the first time I got that intensity of admiration. Tonight, though the stars and moon glittered wondrously, the feeling that I once felt can no longer penetrate me. Could the reason be affected by the exhaustion my body felt tonight? Could it be the piled exhausting emotions that I become numb? Could it be that I can no longer admire the beauty of anything? Or maybe it is just because I am staring at the same moon but of different phase. I wish I could see the moon that once caught me so I can have the old feeling of joy, of brightness, of lightness, of love. I missed that feeling. Yet, as I continue to stare at it I got no feeling except for nothingness.

Here's the UPDATED post

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My First Day

Hmmm... my first day of the year was spent the whole day sleeping. What could this implication be with my whole year, I do not know. I might be hibernating lol. As each day is approaching the next working day, my anxiety grows more and more. I just really hope I can face that day with strong heart and great determination. I'm tired.

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